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[personal profile] mariana
And yet I must type something.

Fair warning: this post will be completely non-grammatically correct, utterly lacking in any sort of structure and quite possible punctuated by capital letters, overuse of bold and italics.



HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

He did it, he really did it. HE REALLY DID IT! We had Sam vs Dean... we have SAM VS DEAN! I know I watched the SOON last week and I knew there would be the 'if you walk out that door don't come back' moment but IT REALLY HAPPENED.

BOYS! BOYS.

I don't think I've ever referred to them as 'my boys' before, but this ep made me. Honestly. I am BROKEN into PIECES that have SHATTERED and then been GROUND INTO DUST... I didn't know I could break that many times in 40 minutes. I really didn't.

KRIPKE BROKE MY BOYS! ALL of them!

SAM - "I'm not addicted." Yeah right have you taken a look in the mirror recently? Have you? And those HALLUCINATIONS! MARY - that was not your mother Sam, she would never have said that to you, never. She would never have told you your brother was weak, she would never have told you to continue. The only time you've ever seen her and remembered it is in Home and she said SORRY. She didn't want you to have these powers. Your Dad would have beaten you into a bloody pulp for even suggesting that. (Verbally, of course).

And then when the door opened and he went out and Sam! I was yelling at him to go back in, to stay in. It was a choice, Sam. Everyone has choices, that was yours.

Sam hit Bobby... *is unimpressed* ¬¬

WITH RUBY... aargh. She's EVIL Sam, EVIL. There is no way I can stress this enough. She has her own agenda which involves Lilith dead, you darkside and her as Queen of the Undergroundworld. Hell, whatever. I'm beginning to see a new side to Genevieve Cortese. I still don't like her as much as Katie Cassidy (oh how I miss her!) but still, the looks she was giving in the background throughout that scene, when Sam was telling her how he hoped he and Dean could resolve it in the future, and then when Dean was talking to Sam, the faces she made behind his back... evil evil evil.

HE WALKED OUT THAT DOOR! HE WALKED OUT THAT DOOR AND WENT TO KILL LILITH - WHO EATS BABIES!

(Yes, Lilith Eats Babies. >.< Really? Really Lilith? Isn't that a little stereotypical?)

DEAN - Drinking while listening to his brother scream, so determined to save his soul not just his life. And then selling his own soul to the angels.

Dean, Dean, Dean... why did you do it?

And being able to find Sam in spite of everything, and failing to kill Ruby. Dean! And watching him break when Sam tells him to say the word. Just, Oh boys.

And then... those words, his father's words. I can't decide whether that was a last ditch attempt to get through to Sam by reminding him, or whether he just needed to push. It was so...

Dean.

And then for:

CASTIEL - I love you, I really do, but if you keep fucking with Sam and Dean I may have to start hating you. You are wonderful, but Dean comes first (and Sam... sometimes, when he's not drinking demon blood - Season 1 Sam, or season 2 Sam).

That said - KRIPKE BROKE YOU TOO.

Since last episode he came back wrong. So wrong. Although, his words to Dean (I'll have to rewatch that scene since I was yelling quite loudly at the screen for Dean not to do it) 'as you obeyed your father' is there a secondary meaning there? Castiel knows that Dean had his doubts about John, he knows that Dean sometimes didn't do what John said if he didn't agree with it (esp. concerning Sammy). Was this another 'wink wink' moment? Please, please, let Castiel still be on our side...

*tries to work out where our side is*

And handing over Anna... CAS. Just as I was getting to like her again.

I spent the last year and a half praying for Ruby to have an ulterior motive and be evil. Now I seem to have got that right (please be in the next episode, please) and I'm starting to scream at Castiel that he had better have an ulterior motive and be good... human - I'm not really sure how to classify that even.

Aargh, how am I supposed to wait until next week? Or the week after that if some people are to be believed? Does anyone know whether it's showing next week or the week after? I don't want to check sites in case I get spoiled for the finale. I don't even know the title of the episode (though I have sneaking suspicions) and I'd really prefer to keep it that way.

If it is in two weeks then it's going to be crappy - my last exam is Saturday the 23rd, so I wouldn't really be able to watch it until Saturday afternoon, and you know it'll make my concentration completely awful.

If it's next week then I should have had time to calm down by the start of my first exam... hopefully.

So - Spn 4x22, 14th or the 21st?
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May 2009

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