Feb. 12th, 2009

mariana: (Default)
My essays are all printed out and mostly edited (so I got a little bored and my eyes started to go to sleep... maybe I'm not taking this University thing quite as seriously as I should be, but my theory is, the moment you take something seriously is the moment it screws itself up monumentally. That's not to say things that I don't take seriously don't screw themselves up, but I don't care so it doesn't matter).

I know, I'm being maudlin... or should that just be plain cynical and morose? My mind is goo from staring at essays, I haven't had any dinner because I just haven't been hungry and I forgot to put my stupid washing in the machine until half eleven so now I have to wait for it to finish so I can hang it all up and actually have something to wear tomorrow for my nine o'clock seminar... I might be wearing something damp, but at least it won't smell or have chocolate stains on it (honestly, it gets everywhere).

My essays are currently lying on the bed calling to me to reread them and hate myself for all the stupid mistakes and lack of research. I am stubbornly ignoring them.

I'm hoping for a 60 on both of them. That would at least keep me on a 2.1 (in my perfect world of make-believe they both get 80 and then I don't have to put quite as much effort into all my exams to get a first and the world is brilliant and rosy and the stars shine... in my perfect world of make-believe it's mostly night-time, don't even ask me why).

Tomorrow I have a tutorial on Absalom, Absalom! which I have not read, but I do have a three hour gap and a library card, so I should get the first few chapters under my belt before I have to go and look like an idiot in front of my dissertation superviser.

Note to self: never post to livejournal when annoyed, stressed and sleep-deprived, it makes for self-pity of the worst degree.

I can't wait for the weekend.

And I just forgot my parents are coming up... they'll bug me about jobs again.

Why does there have to be a real world?

Oh... and now I've finished my essays and have time, I have horrendous writer's block. I have Arthur/Merlin reincarnation fic in my head and I can't get it down on paper/screen. Every time I try it comes out all wrong.

I know... I should stop moping, there are people with worse problems. Suck it up and all that.

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mariana

May 2009

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